My Mom was such a funny woman. She left me with so many memories we will never run out of stories, and I hope I can write each one. I just have all of these funny memories running through my head and I simply have to share.
My Mom was what we called a Nightime Snacker. Moments after dinner she would start...the snacking time. It starts now and goes until she's too tired to eat any more. The variety of snacks varied widely but she would find her latest obsession--I remember the different ones I can think of off the top of my head...peanuts, apples, grapefruit, gummy bears, popcorn, ice cream, fudgcicles, licorice etc etc etc. She would develop the obsession and then she would get the largest container you've ever seen in your life of the obsession. She was buying peanuts in bulk at one time! I had to take her to Sam's club when she was here so she could get the GIGANTIC tub of peanuts.
My Mom was terrified of insects. Spiders were the worst, but pretty much any and all bugs in nature were bad. And she had the most amount of run-ins with bugs that made you wonder if the bug world knew she hated every last one of them and they conspired to torture her throughout her life. The worst "bug episode" I ever witnessed was the famous (at least in our family because all who were present will never forget it) June bug incident. We were living in a 4-plex in south Minneapolis. We were having what the parents called a "family meeting". My brother and I had a different name, but I'll just leave that to your imagination. Serious family issues like cleaning and schedules and duties were discussed. (Yawn) We were sitting there discussing and Mom had a blouse with a sweater over it. She kept pulling at her sweater on the side as we talked. It kept irritating her. I asked what was wrong. She said the blouse was picking her, couldn't figure out why. She finally reached up between the sweater and blouse. That's when the screaming started. She pulled at her sweater like it was on fire. A June bug came out from under her arm. That was what was picking her. She was jumping around screaming, trying to get the sweater off, it's stuck on her arms and she's looks like a crazy person. She gets one side off and is trying to unbutton the blouse, throwing the sweater in the air screaming "Get it OFF me!!!!" Dad came over and told her it was gone, put her blouse back around her took her over and sat her down while she still a bit hysterically pointing to the spot where the June bug was under her arm and half talking half crying words she couldn't quite complete, reliving the whole experience. Bugs 1, Mom, 0.
My Mom always said exactly what she meant. If I asked her if an outfit looked good, if she liked it, then she said so and comment on how the color brought out your eyes, the style is so you...on and on. And she would mean every word. But if she didn't think it looked good, she would tell you it didn't look good, and then go into detail of why it doesn't look good--hips look wide, legs look stuffed into it, makes you look big. But I never doubted that she was sincere or truthful. In fact, she used to tell me about her mother, my Grandma Watters and how she would just say what she thought no matter who was there and Mom used to laugh because people would nearly choke on their drink because it was so direct and frank. My Grandma was the most wonderful little old Grandma; she called everybody HoneyDarling. So that abrupt truth in your face was so unexpected. It was the aloof French in her, she said. But as much as my Mom was instructed how Irish she was, she couldn't escape that the French personality traits that came through her blood. She never saw how similar she was to her Mom.
I hope you all enjoy this little Mom storytelling session. There may be more of these stories--I think it was very therapeutic to tell these stories to you out there. I appreciate everybody who reads this and I hope it makes you smile.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Monday, June 11, 2012
Rollercoaster
I haven't added to my blog in a few months. The last time I posted it was Valentine's Day, just a week or so before the storm. By the storm I do not mean a storm outside, but a storm that hit my life. As I sit here, I almost can't believe the things that have happened since then. No wonder I have lost my sense of time.
About a week or so after my last post, my Mom came for a visit. She had appointments at Mayo (or Mayos as all the Yoopers--Yoopers being those from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, where my home town is at) to have a precancerous condition in her breast looked at one more time and she was planning on having a double mastectomy to prevent the cancer that had hit her sister years before.
She had been having headaches...terrible headaches like the migraines she always used to have in years past but hadn't had in some years. Her doctor at Mayo suggested she have a head CT scan just as a precautionary step before they would do surgery. I remember the text because of the panic that it created. The head CT had been done, they called her right back and said that they found some "abnormalities". She's running across Mayo to go back to the doctor, I'm at my desk at work and I'm looking at my phone like it's going to give me some enlightenment as to what this all means. It was over the lunch hour, people were not around, I was trying to calm the intense panic I felt in my chest. I'm doing the Oh My God chant, like that also will somehow stop the anxiety.
She calls, they're not calling them abnormalities any more, they're calling them tumors and they definitely see three of them. My head is spinning, I can only remember too well the cancer diagnosis when Tim and I were sitting in front of the doctors hearing that terrible word. It was coming up on just two years since Tim died. We went back together the next day, they were doing the familiar hunt for the primary cancer and they found it. Lung cancer. That's where it started and spread to the brain. Good Lord, she had lung and brain cancer!!! The prognosis was not good, but could range anywhere from 3 months to a year and if you made it to a year, you would probably have more time.
Somewhere deep within my mind I did not want to hear what my intuition said but I knew it would not be long. It sure as hell wasn't what I wanted, but ironically, it was the gift of intuition that Mom gave me and taught me to recognize as just one of those things that the women in this family have...trust it.
I can't put the details of that part of story down quite yet, but Mom did not have a long time as I thought. She stayed here at my house, which was it's own painful but also wonderful journey. She passed away on May 7th, just two days before the 2 year anniversary of Tim's death. Those two souls were connected in a way that I will probably never understand, but on Mother's Day 2 years ago, I lost Tim and on Mother's Day this year, we had my Mom's funeral. I hope they're having a good time, but really you two...did you have to mess up Mother's Day for me like that???
I have gone through many emotions already with this deep, deep blow. But I'm pretty pissed overall. I know all that bullshit about not getting more than you can handle and oh, I'm so strong. Where do I get off this strong train...I want off! I don't want to be the one that tests how much grief I can handle without losing it entirely. Whoever is listening--God, the Universe, Higher Power, whatever it calls itself...stop it. I know I have built a new family of people around me that are good and loving and wonderful and I do have happiness in my life, but I am getting off the roller coaster now. I'm done. I'm going to look to those who know me, love me and make me happy. But I'm still pissed.
About a week or so after my last post, my Mom came for a visit. She had appointments at Mayo (or Mayos as all the Yoopers--Yoopers being those from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, where my home town is at) to have a precancerous condition in her breast looked at one more time and she was planning on having a double mastectomy to prevent the cancer that had hit her sister years before.
She had been having headaches...terrible headaches like the migraines she always used to have in years past but hadn't had in some years. Her doctor at Mayo suggested she have a head CT scan just as a precautionary step before they would do surgery. I remember the text because of the panic that it created. The head CT had been done, they called her right back and said that they found some "abnormalities". She's running across Mayo to go back to the doctor, I'm at my desk at work and I'm looking at my phone like it's going to give me some enlightenment as to what this all means. It was over the lunch hour, people were not around, I was trying to calm the intense panic I felt in my chest. I'm doing the Oh My God chant, like that also will somehow stop the anxiety.
She calls, they're not calling them abnormalities any more, they're calling them tumors and they definitely see three of them. My head is spinning, I can only remember too well the cancer diagnosis when Tim and I were sitting in front of the doctors hearing that terrible word. It was coming up on just two years since Tim died. We went back together the next day, they were doing the familiar hunt for the primary cancer and they found it. Lung cancer. That's where it started and spread to the brain. Good Lord, she had lung and brain cancer!!! The prognosis was not good, but could range anywhere from 3 months to a year and if you made it to a year, you would probably have more time.
Somewhere deep within my mind I did not want to hear what my intuition said but I knew it would not be long. It sure as hell wasn't what I wanted, but ironically, it was the gift of intuition that Mom gave me and taught me to recognize as just one of those things that the women in this family have...trust it.
I can't put the details of that part of story down quite yet, but Mom did not have a long time as I thought. She stayed here at my house, which was it's own painful but also wonderful journey. She passed away on May 7th, just two days before the 2 year anniversary of Tim's death. Those two souls were connected in a way that I will probably never understand, but on Mother's Day 2 years ago, I lost Tim and on Mother's Day this year, we had my Mom's funeral. I hope they're having a good time, but really you two...did you have to mess up Mother's Day for me like that???
I have gone through many emotions already with this deep, deep blow. But I'm pretty pissed overall. I know all that bullshit about not getting more than you can handle and oh, I'm so strong. Where do I get off this strong train...I want off! I don't want to be the one that tests how much grief I can handle without losing it entirely. Whoever is listening--God, the Universe, Higher Power, whatever it calls itself...stop it. I know I have built a new family of people around me that are good and loving and wonderful and I do have happiness in my life, but I am getting off the roller coaster now. I'm done. I'm going to look to those who know me, love me and make me happy. But I'm still pissed.
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