My last blog post left off at my Florida/Georgia adventures, but that was before finding out that my flight back home was cancelled. I called and got an earlier flight but when I showed up at the airport Sunday morning the earlier flight had been cancelled also. I didn't feel bad about that--I was a feeling a little resentful that the airlines was taking away my last day with Angela. I then found out that flights from every connecting city to the twin cities was cancelled. Minnesota was in for a snowstorm that was potentially dropping 2 feet of snow. I texted a few people that said at that early time, that the snow wasn't even starting yet, only about an hour later saying "it's snowing now--really HARD!". My new flight out was Tuesday morning, so not only did I get my Sunday back, I got a bonus Monday too!
Getting stuck in Georgia in 78 degree weather couldn't have happened during a better winter. This winter has been one of the snowiest (is that a word?) in Minnesota history. You can't see around a corner if your turning because of the mounds of snow. The large pile of snow in my yard cleared from my driveway will probably melt by June. Assuming it stops snowing sometime soon. These are the rough days of winter. I'm sure the snowmobilers are having a ball, but cabin fever sets in about February and you pray for at least a spell of relatively warm weather (40s or 50s) to at least give a glimpse of warmer days coming ahead. We had that right before I left and while I was gone, only to have the slap of yet another snowstorm come right after.
When I got home from my trip, my dog Cassi was so excited to see me. She was beside herself and then began to follow me everywhere. I drew the line at the bathroom door; she would look at me longingly, like there was some meaningful moment that she was needing to take part in in the bathroom. I would say "really Cassi?", her head would go down like she understood that bathroom time is generally alone time and then plop down outside the door awaiting my exciting return. The novelty of my return home has worn off now and we've gone back to a familiar relationship playing the outside/inside game. It's a game she can play all weekend long unless at some time I go outside and do something where she can follow me around out there. She also likes to play "bark at the ginormous flag the neighbors have"; that's a game that my son Ryan's dog Rylie taught her (no Rylie is not too bright). Although without wind blowing the flag, that game just isn't that fun for long.
I was surprised that once I got home and everybody left, I settled back into my house by myself (and the animals of course) and felt so content and happy to be back in my own space all by myself. Not that I like to spend lots of time by myself, but I'm comfortable in my own skin and my own place to just feel contentment. If I want to hang out with people, I have people but I don't need it to feel happy. That was a revelation of sorts.
So, I'm back home now. It's snowing on and off again but I think that blast of warm weather will help me get through the rest of winter. Not that I won't get sick of it like most other Minnesotans and long for days sitting on the deck in the sunshine, but I'll make it. Maybe I'll dress up in my Carharts and sit on the deck. :)
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Saturday, February 19, 2011
More Florida-Georgia adventures
I have not traveled out of the midwest much in my life. I'm not sure if that makes me uncultured or not, but we went to Michigan for our summer vacations growing up. I missed out on the traveling, but building the relationships with family was a treasure and a gift that keeps on giving. I find a wonderment in so many things when I go to another part of the country. Here in Georgia there are many interesting things. There are pecans everywhere. And that's pronounced Pee-Canz for you non-Georgia people. I was corrected by the woman at the place where we bought the regional goodies. I was looking for peanut brittle, which is freaking fabulous here, but I didn't realize it was in the Peanut Brittle Aisle. Where else would you go where there is a peanut brittle AISLE! Everything you can think of making with citrus fruit, peaches, or nuts . . . jams, jellies, honey, fudge with orange, peach cider, pecan meal, honey roasted peanuts or pecans. It's everywhere. When you go out to eat, the waitresses call you honey or sweetie in their sweet as pie southern drawl.
Some things that people take for granted in a warm climate area too are part of the architecture everywhere. In Angela's apartment building, the stairs to the upper level are open air. Being from the midwest, I just think of how much snow would accumulate in that area or how cold it would be trying to get the door open with the key while the cold wind is whipping at your back. The sidewalks down by the ocean are cement mixed with sea shells. So many homes have porches, sometimes around the whole house, sometimes on both the bottom and top levels. They almost always have rocking chairs on them. There is Spanish moss hanging from almost all the trees. Where it comes from or how it gets there, I don't know.
One thing I thought was so funny and amazing is that when we went out for Mexican food, I had a margarita. When we went to leave the waitress asked if I wanted one to go. I said "one what?" and both Angela and Jon said "margarita". You can get a MARGARITA TO GO!! Don't know what the laws are here, but it's called open bottle in Minnesota and you get arrested or at least ticketed for that there. So much for the problem of drinking and driving!
It's been so fun to be here and spend time with Angela. She's so much like me it makes me laugh. Two words are out of my mouth and she finishes the rest of the sentence. The word I can't think of, she's got. The parallels of her relationship with Jon and how my relationship with Tim was warms my heart. It's a gift as a mother.
I have to go back home tomorrow. Back to winter. It's so hard to believe when we've been walking around in our short sleeve shirts that it's February and it's not summer. I walked down the BEACH in February. I can't believe I'm going back to where it's winter. But now I can make it through the rest of winter having experienced this little luxury of warm weather. In fact, this scares the hell out of me enough I think to go home and get on that exercising that I've been thinking about so when this kind of weather comes to Minnesota I don't look how I look now! A swim suit is mighty scary about now.
A little side note; the number of views on my blog has now passed the 500 mark. Thank you!!! I get excited to keep bringing y'all more posts. Just a little saying I picked up down here.
Some things that people take for granted in a warm climate area too are part of the architecture everywhere. In Angela's apartment building, the stairs to the upper level are open air. Being from the midwest, I just think of how much snow would accumulate in that area or how cold it would be trying to get the door open with the key while the cold wind is whipping at your back. The sidewalks down by the ocean are cement mixed with sea shells. So many homes have porches, sometimes around the whole house, sometimes on both the bottom and top levels. They almost always have rocking chairs on them. There is Spanish moss hanging from almost all the trees. Where it comes from or how it gets there, I don't know.
One thing I thought was so funny and amazing is that when we went out for Mexican food, I had a margarita. When we went to leave the waitress asked if I wanted one to go. I said "one what?" and both Angela and Jon said "margarita". You can get a MARGARITA TO GO!! Don't know what the laws are here, but it's called open bottle in Minnesota and you get arrested or at least ticketed for that there. So much for the problem of drinking and driving!
It's been so fun to be here and spend time with Angela. She's so much like me it makes me laugh. Two words are out of my mouth and she finishes the rest of the sentence. The word I can't think of, she's got. The parallels of her relationship with Jon and how my relationship with Tim was warms my heart. It's a gift as a mother.
I have to go back home tomorrow. Back to winter. It's so hard to believe when we've been walking around in our short sleeve shirts that it's February and it's not summer. I walked down the BEACH in February. I can't believe I'm going back to where it's winter. But now I can make it through the rest of winter having experienced this little luxury of warm weather. In fact, this scares the hell out of me enough I think to go home and get on that exercising that I've been thinking about so when this kind of weather comes to Minnesota I don't look how I look now! A swim suit is mighty scary about now.
A little side note; the number of views on my blog has now passed the 500 mark. Thank you!!! I get excited to keep bringing y'all more posts. Just a little saying I picked up down here.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Florida/Georgia adventures
I'm now in St. Marys Georgia at my daughter Angela's house. It's the morning after the big company sales conference in Florida. Sales conferences are really a drinking event for professionals. Professional drinkers I mean. I have figured out a method of partying with these professionals so I experience all the fun, but other than being tired, not the hurt that comes with the morning after the events. It's a pacing strategy really. As the night goes on, mixing in the tall glasses of ice water is the key. Substituting that for the drink with the alcohol multiple times (while others continue with the alcohol) does the trick. Then you're on point for the toasts, possibly shots, and "special" drinks that come along the way, and yet there for the 8 am breakfast the next day. I suppose that goes along with my Planner personality--even at a social event, there's always a plan. That kind of makes me laugh at myself.
After the conference, I picked up my rental car to drive up to Angela's. I thought ahead (again the Planner) and bought a GPS so I would have it when I did this drive, not being at all familiar with Florida or Georgia. Now there is a small issue with this plan.
First, I get my car from a ramp. In a ramp the GPS cannot "see" the satellites so I can't get the GPS to know where I am and start telling me where to go. Second, in airports when you get your car, you exit the ramp and start driving directly onto the freeways. I have no idea what direction I'm supposed to go because the GPS hasn't found the satellite yet even though I am now outside the ramp. I can't exactly drive on the freeway in an unfamiliar place and program the GPS at the same time. I'm a multi-tasker, but that is beyond my capabilities. I'm feeling a little panic and trying to figure out where the hell I'm going. There are no shoulders I can pull off the freeway onto to take the driving part out of the equation. I go in the direction that seems logical and am trying to get the GPS to catch up to the warp speed my brain is going in to try and figure what to do next. Then I am starting to calm down a little and I see the toll signs coming up. OMG, where is my money! I search through my wallet--a nickel and some pennies and am freaking out. Wait . . . I put a bunch of change in my jacket in my computer backpack! I grab the change and get through the first toll booth. But where is the rest of my money? There are more tolls coming up. Oh that's right, I had it in another small purse I carried, in my suitcase now.
Regroup, find a shoulder on this damn road!!! I see a spot to pull over before the next toll booth. I pull over, pick up the remnants of my wallet that I threw all over the car looking for change for the toll and put it all neatly back in. I zip open my suitcase and grab the little purse and get my money out and put it in the cup holder so I have it handy. Get out the bottle of water to just take a sip and get a little calmer. I program the GPS to go to Angela's house and get back on the road. Well that was fun, I hope the entire ride is slightly less eventful.
It's always so interesting to me to drive in another area of the country. The signs, the drivers, the style of the area all fascinating to me. I want to just take in the atmosphere like I'm taking pictures in my mind. I did find that most of the drivers in Florida that I encountered do not have an interest in the "cruise" feature of their vehicles. It was such an odd sensation setting my cruise, having a car pull up along side me only to disappear from my view going behind me because the driver suddenly decided to go much slower for no apparent reason. This happened so many times in my drive, it was humorous to me after a while. The drivers also don't seem to like to go the speed limit, but they go slower not faster!! I drove 4 miles over the speed limit because I had this vision of this Smokey and the Bandit cop pulling me over for speeding (that's not too stereo type I know) and I was always in the fast lane passing all the fluctuating speed drivers by the hundreds. I saw cops everywhere, but they did not seem at all interested in the speed I was going.
I now have an extreme interest in Georgia pecans and Florida citrus, but I think that's due to the power of suggestion of the road signs virtually every 3 minutes all the way here telling me of the awesome local fruit and nuts. I arrived here safe and sound, took Angela and Jon out to dinner and had some fun conversation then came back to their place. I didn't last too long before the Florida adventures caught up to me and I was one tired girl. Down for the count.
More adventures to come!
After the conference, I picked up my rental car to drive up to Angela's. I thought ahead (again the Planner) and bought a GPS so I would have it when I did this drive, not being at all familiar with Florida or Georgia. Now there is a small issue with this plan.
First, I get my car from a ramp. In a ramp the GPS cannot "see" the satellites so I can't get the GPS to know where I am and start telling me where to go. Second, in airports when you get your car, you exit the ramp and start driving directly onto the freeways. I have no idea what direction I'm supposed to go because the GPS hasn't found the satellite yet even though I am now outside the ramp. I can't exactly drive on the freeway in an unfamiliar place and program the GPS at the same time. I'm a multi-tasker, but that is beyond my capabilities. I'm feeling a little panic and trying to figure out where the hell I'm going. There are no shoulders I can pull off the freeway onto to take the driving part out of the equation. I go in the direction that seems logical and am trying to get the GPS to catch up to the warp speed my brain is going in to try and figure what to do next. Then I am starting to calm down a little and I see the toll signs coming up. OMG, where is my money! I search through my wallet--a nickel and some pennies and am freaking out. Wait . . . I put a bunch of change in my jacket in my computer backpack! I grab the change and get through the first toll booth. But where is the rest of my money? There are more tolls coming up. Oh that's right, I had it in another small purse I carried, in my suitcase now.
Regroup, find a shoulder on this damn road!!! I see a spot to pull over before the next toll booth. I pull over, pick up the remnants of my wallet that I threw all over the car looking for change for the toll and put it all neatly back in. I zip open my suitcase and grab the little purse and get my money out and put it in the cup holder so I have it handy. Get out the bottle of water to just take a sip and get a little calmer. I program the GPS to go to Angela's house and get back on the road. Well that was fun, I hope the entire ride is slightly less eventful.
It's always so interesting to me to drive in another area of the country. The signs, the drivers, the style of the area all fascinating to me. I want to just take in the atmosphere like I'm taking pictures in my mind. I did find that most of the drivers in Florida that I encountered do not have an interest in the "cruise" feature of their vehicles. It was such an odd sensation setting my cruise, having a car pull up along side me only to disappear from my view going behind me because the driver suddenly decided to go much slower for no apparent reason. This happened so many times in my drive, it was humorous to me after a while. The drivers also don't seem to like to go the speed limit, but they go slower not faster!! I drove 4 miles over the speed limit because I had this vision of this Smokey and the Bandit cop pulling me over for speeding (that's not too stereo type I know) and I was always in the fast lane passing all the fluctuating speed drivers by the hundreds. I saw cops everywhere, but they did not seem at all interested in the speed I was going.
I now have an extreme interest in Georgia pecans and Florida citrus, but I think that's due to the power of suggestion of the road signs virtually every 3 minutes all the way here telling me of the awesome local fruit and nuts. I arrived here safe and sound, took Angela and Jon out to dinner and had some fun conversation then came back to their place. I didn't last too long before the Florida adventures caught up to me and I was one tired girl. Down for the count.
More adventures to come!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Another day in the Journey
Life is so different for me now. What a drastic change from life not so long ago. I sometimes feel like I am an observer as well as a participant. Because it's all so different, I need to learn some things from this new perspective. Some realities that you live with when you are so connected and associated with others is so vastly different when you're on your own. Some things are freedoms, but some things feel like umbrella of protection is gone. Well maybe it's not gone, but it's a different kind of protection coming from different places and I have to reach out to get it.
That's a big lesson I'm learning; that I have the protection from other people but asking for it is the key. When I was married to Tim, I never had to tell him it was a bad day. Because he knew everything about me, I would merely come in the door and he would look at me and know and ask. So if I have a particularly bad day or just need to talk, I have to call one of my friends or family that are always there for me and talk to them. That is against my nature--not so good at asking for help with anything really. But I am learning because when I do reach out, I can go from a very dark place to feeling good and peaceful with where I'm at. Sometimes, no matter how much I talk to myself about being OK, it's not a substitute for another human voice that know me so well leading me down the path back towards the light.
I think too, that somehow I have a different expectation for male friends vs. female friends. This is rather new territory from the vantage point of being single. I haven't been single for a very long time and am really trying to avoid landmines that I now realize are there. Everyone has baggage, and mine is tied to divorce rather than the time with Tim. But those bags don't go away and even with the passage of time and the loving debriefing I went through with Tim to unlearn the unhealthy thoughts I carried, they still exist. The trick is to recognize those thoughts as destructive and hold my male friends to the same level of friendship and support as my female friends. If I start to feel those destructive thoughts because I don't feel I'm being treated well, then the friendship is not something I need to be a part of--whether a man or a woman. I have worked too hard and Tim gave 10 years of love therapy to let me know that I was the most important person to him, and if I am not feeling important to any person, than it is not a good friendship to be in. I am a damn good friend, and I deserve that in return.
My view of the journey, as of today.
That's a big lesson I'm learning; that I have the protection from other people but asking for it is the key. When I was married to Tim, I never had to tell him it was a bad day. Because he knew everything about me, I would merely come in the door and he would look at me and know and ask. So if I have a particularly bad day or just need to talk, I have to call one of my friends or family that are always there for me and talk to them. That is against my nature--not so good at asking for help with anything really. But I am learning because when I do reach out, I can go from a very dark place to feeling good and peaceful with where I'm at. Sometimes, no matter how much I talk to myself about being OK, it's not a substitute for another human voice that know me so well leading me down the path back towards the light.
I think too, that somehow I have a different expectation for male friends vs. female friends. This is rather new territory from the vantage point of being single. I haven't been single for a very long time and am really trying to avoid landmines that I now realize are there. Everyone has baggage, and mine is tied to divorce rather than the time with Tim. But those bags don't go away and even with the passage of time and the loving debriefing I went through with Tim to unlearn the unhealthy thoughts I carried, they still exist. The trick is to recognize those thoughts as destructive and hold my male friends to the same level of friendship and support as my female friends. If I start to feel those destructive thoughts because I don't feel I'm being treated well, then the friendship is not something I need to be a part of--whether a man or a woman. I have worked too hard and Tim gave 10 years of love therapy to let me know that I was the most important person to him, and if I am not feeling important to any person, than it is not a good friendship to be in. I am a damn good friend, and I deserve that in return.
My view of the journey, as of today.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Just stuff.
I need to learn that the beauty of a blog is that you don't have to have something great to write about, you just write. My friend who taught me how to set up a blog teaches me that by my reading his blog. Funny and entertaining, but not always about something specific, just thoughts on life or maybe just thoughts on the day.
I have gotten sick twice in the last month. I took great pride in my robust immune system up until now. I haven't gotten so much as a virus in years. I just seemed to miss all the bad ones. I watched them as if a train was going by and I was simply a spectator. When I got the first one, it was a cold virus and I had body aches but I was going to outsmart it. I left early from work and rested the entire weekend. By Monday, I had beaten it. Further proof of my very strong immune system.
Then, this past weekend, it betrayed me. I had girls weekend all planned out, even took off an extra day. It started late Friday with a little tightness in my chest. Reminiscent of my younger years when I used to get those terrible bronchial colds, and at least once pneumonia. I passed it off as nothing, I had no other symptoms of something coming on so I just scolded my lungs to stop feeling that way. By Saturday, the cough was beginning, and it wasn't good. It felt as though my lungs were screaming back at me. I just kept doing the I'm Fine thing when the girlfriends would ask. Sunday morning was the kicker. When I stood up I got that little dizzy feeling. Uh-oh. When the girlfriends discovered how bad I really felt, they decided it was time for me to rest and for them to get the hell out of here before they got what I appear to have.
There was one little hitch. When one of the girlfriends came on Saturday, she got a little stuck in the driveway. We've had a ton of snow here and it's easy to do. So I put my boots and jacket on and we ventured out to get her out. We push and shoveled and shoveled and pushed and eventually got her pushed out. We are powerful girls!! I came in, warmed up the corn bags, went upstairs to my bed--no couch for this kind of exhaustion, and absolutely collapsed on the bed and fell asleep. Temp---101.5. Yes, there's no other way to say it, I felt like shit.
Monday I dragged myself to a doctor because I didn't want to get pneumonia again and got on antibiotics. She thought since I was worsening that it was a bacterial infection and said I should feel better in 24 hours and do not go to work until I'm fever free for 24 hours (love this doctor). So now it's Tuesday night and I am doing better, no fever today all day, but still quite weak.
I would love to think my voice has that slightly raspy whispery sexy tone like Kathleen Turner, but the gasps from people I know that have called me tell me otherwise. I just sound sick. But the way this took me down has taught me something and forces me to get back on one of my new years resolutions . . . to go back to working out. When I worked out, I didn't get sick. I'll have to wait until I can breathe without sounding like I'm going to hack up a lung, but that's not going to be long. I'm going to beat this and go back to being a spectator of those that "get stuff".
I have gotten sick twice in the last month. I took great pride in my robust immune system up until now. I haven't gotten so much as a virus in years. I just seemed to miss all the bad ones. I watched them as if a train was going by and I was simply a spectator. When I got the first one, it was a cold virus and I had body aches but I was going to outsmart it. I left early from work and rested the entire weekend. By Monday, I had beaten it. Further proof of my very strong immune system.
Then, this past weekend, it betrayed me. I had girls weekend all planned out, even took off an extra day. It started late Friday with a little tightness in my chest. Reminiscent of my younger years when I used to get those terrible bronchial colds, and at least once pneumonia. I passed it off as nothing, I had no other symptoms of something coming on so I just scolded my lungs to stop feeling that way. By Saturday, the cough was beginning, and it wasn't good. It felt as though my lungs were screaming back at me. I just kept doing the I'm Fine thing when the girlfriends would ask. Sunday morning was the kicker. When I stood up I got that little dizzy feeling. Uh-oh. When the girlfriends discovered how bad I really felt, they decided it was time for me to rest and for them to get the hell out of here before they got what I appear to have.
There was one little hitch. When one of the girlfriends came on Saturday, she got a little stuck in the driveway. We've had a ton of snow here and it's easy to do. So I put my boots and jacket on and we ventured out to get her out. We push and shoveled and shoveled and pushed and eventually got her pushed out. We are powerful girls!! I came in, warmed up the corn bags, went upstairs to my bed--no couch for this kind of exhaustion, and absolutely collapsed on the bed and fell asleep. Temp---101.5. Yes, there's no other way to say it, I felt like shit.
Monday I dragged myself to a doctor because I didn't want to get pneumonia again and got on antibiotics. She thought since I was worsening that it was a bacterial infection and said I should feel better in 24 hours and do not go to work until I'm fever free for 24 hours (love this doctor). So now it's Tuesday night and I am doing better, no fever today all day, but still quite weak.
I would love to think my voice has that slightly raspy whispery sexy tone like Kathleen Turner, but the gasps from people I know that have called me tell me otherwise. I just sound sick. But the way this took me down has taught me something and forces me to get back on one of my new years resolutions . . . to go back to working out. When I worked out, I didn't get sick. I'll have to wait until I can breathe without sounding like I'm going to hack up a lung, but that's not going to be long. I'm going to beat this and go back to being a spectator of those that "get stuff".
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