I'm sitting here looking out at yet another grey day, just a glimmer of sun in the dark cloudy day.  I'm very affected by weather and lack of sunshine.  This spring is tough on any number of levels.  For one, there hasn't really been a spring yet.  We've had a couple sunny warmer days, but then it has quickly gone back to cold and even snow.  The buds are coming out on the trees reminding me that spring is trying to break free and spread the vibrant color all around, but Mother Nature has not set it free yet.  Tomorrow promises to be sunny and warmer and I will soak it in and be energized by the sun we've so seldom seen. 

I went up to my hometown in Upper Michigan (L'Anse) last weekend with my Mom for her birthday weekend.  I'm going to say that she's 70, which I don't think will piss her off since I already posted her age on Facebook.  But, like I am proud of my age and the things I have gone through and conquered, I am also proud of her because I learned the ability to conquer whatever comes my way from her.  She is a beautiful woman and doesn't look near her age, which is definitely something I aspire to!  She's gone through so much in her life and now is at such a happy place, with a new home that is stunning, animals all around her even to the point of peering in her windows.  She lives near the lake and near her sisters and all is good.  It is wonderful to see the smile on her face and the contentment of being where you want to be.  I'm so very proud of her and her energy, her passion, and the way she is always there for family, no matter what.    

I love going to my hometown.  It's a small town that honestly hasn't changed much since I was a kid.  Still the same landmarks and the best thing about that town is looking out at Lake Superior.  There is a certain kind of peace that comes from seeing that lake and just taking in the wonder of it.  I haven't been up there this time of year for a long time so I grabbed my camera wherever I went.  There was still ice on the water and snow on the shore, but it was a kind of intrigue that goes with something that is alive and always moving and changing right before you eyes.  I stood on the shore in the cold wind and listened.  The ice moves ever so slightly but it makes a noise like when you step on a puddle with ice over the top.  That crunching ice-shattering sound comes from all directions of the lake in front of me, the ice pieces hitting each other with the slight movement of the water underneath.  I was mesmerized at this process that was going on in front of me as far as I could see in the water.  I suddenly realized I was shivering in the light cold breeze but it's a sight and sound I won't forget.  

The wildlife is also something that has me with camera in hand.  The deer that come into my Mom's yard are so fascinating to watch.  You get to see their behavior in nature and just watch them do their funny and interesting things.  When I stepped outside onto the porch for a bit, I turned around to come back and there I was, face to face with a deer only about 6 feet away.  The deer is just staring at me like "you're new around here, aren't you" and just wants to watch me and I stare back at it, looking at its gentle brown eyes, the large black nose that has a little grain stuck to it, and ears on the alert.  A couple seconds went by with just observing each other, it stepping into the human world and me stepping into the deer world and then the moment passed and it backed up and went back with the other deer.  The next encounter with wildlife was driving into town and seeing a furry animal waddling across the road.  I stopped the car and ran out with my camera . . . it was a beaver going back into it's swampy home.  It took no notice of me running along side it to get in front of it and take pictures.  I think it was a little annoyed by the dog that was finding it quite interesting as well, but it just moved forward looking at the dog momentarily and continuing on it's journey seemingly without a care.  It slipped into the water and into the sticks and reeds until you could hardly see it camouflaged lying just barely sticking out of the water.  It stayed still until I walked away.

It's coming close to the year marker from when my love Tim passed away.  I think that will be another blog, but I have my red flag at the ready to plunge into the mountain peak that I feel I will have reached when that day is upon me.  I have been climbing with determination to be able to say I've made it through the first year of the most difficult thing I have ever endured.  Another day, another blog to come.