Spirit

Spirit.  Such a versatile word.  I see it in a different context now.  It's funny, I went back and forth about writing this, but realized that my hesitation in putting it down into written words is the fear that some will think I'm a little crazy.  Then I realized that people may have thought I was crazy for a hundred other things but I pay no mind to those things.  In fact, it's even a little funny. 

I started noticing things with music after Tim passed.  When I would think of a story about him, a song that was meaningful to us would come on whatever I was playing music on.  There was one day, as I was sitting on the edge of my bed, I looked down and I was not impressed with what I saw, to say the least.  I've always been highly critical of my body, but now I was feeling bad for not getting back into exercise.  A song came on, Just The Way You Are, and the words are:

I know, I know
When I compliment her she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so
Sad to think that she don't see what I see
But everytime she asks me "Do I look okay?"
I say

[Chorus:]
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

I smiled and thought of Tim when that song came on, because he was always trying to convince me not to be so hard on myself.  The funny part was that the next morning, my clock radio alarm began with that song to wake me.  I smiled again, reminded of the message from the night before.  That day, when I got in the car, in the office, on my computer, virtually everywhere I turned music on that day, that song was on.  Different radio channels, satellite radio, Pandora radio, it didn't matter, the same song came on again and again.  By the end of the day, driving home, it came on again.  I said OK TIM, I GOT IT and laughed out loud!  I live with his spirit.  No matter what anyone says, I believe it. That's just one story of so many where I feel him here.  

If that makes me crazy . . . OK!